I can't help being so damn miserable every time I see some little vacant looking teenager walking down the street in a Burberry coat. I don't really give a damn about the rest of it, I can wear a pair of 10.00 shoes from payless or KMart, and I can get my clothes on sale at the mall and be fine. I sell design-your own bags and I hate the high fashion, what the hell does a coach bag really carry that a canvas tote can't.
Just once in a while a new coat, a really NICE new coat, that fits well and flatters curves and makes you feel like a beautiful woman; it makes you feel alive and warm in the cold and you can put it on winter after winter and think WOW this coat really makes my figure insane and my cheekbones stand out and the color makes my eyes pop and every bad hair day pales in comparison to my ass in THIS COAT. I think this is also the reason I own a dozen dresses, I'm looking for that feeling. Sometimes I get it but not as consistently as when I put on a coat.
When my brother and my boyfriend started telling me I dress like a 90 year old woman this year I got a little offended because usually look in the mirror and I see a classy woman. I never wanted any part of my wardrobe to imply that I think leggings can be worn as pants because LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. ESPECIALLY ON MEN. I wear cardigans and trouser-leg-jeans and I have delicate jewelry and nice button ups and a classic peacoat. I have a tiny waist, and belts to show it off. I have dresses that vary from the 50's style to the sundress style of my youth, frilly and plain and I have boatneck tops that show off my collar bones. I have clothes that I enjoyed genuinely until the day my boyfriend apparently decided I looked like a 40 year old and what he really thought I should look like was a teenager?
I caved and now I own skinny jeans. The calves that have sunk a thousand pairs of well intentioned boots now get crammed semi-successfully into skinny jeans. Like REALLY TIGHT jeans. I can see dimples from space in this shit. Yes my butt looks great, but still having to hike them up every ten seconds means 50% of the time I have diaper crotch because HELLO curves happen. Not to be harsh here but when your boyfriend's first reaction to you in a pair of very attractive but super uncomfortable pants is " yeah, you look hot. Now you look your age." DUDE I am 25 and built for comfort, not for speed. I look fat in these pants. but whatever.
Here's the thing, once you say it, it's out. I try not to dwell on the things I say that hurt people's feelings because I can't really suck them back from recent memory and make them not happen. I feel bad the boyfriend has apologized a dozen times about saying I dress like a fogey, but it doesn't mean he no longer thinks that way-he's just sorry he let it out. Sure I give in and look like a makeup smeared flannel shirt wearing beanie flaunting leggings as pants (in my own house only) hoodrat occasionally(apparently this is his dream girl?). When I paint. Or sleep. Outside I want to look nice and put together, since when did that become a bad thing? When did that become not hot, not sexy. What not to wear, did you lie to me all these years? are skinny jeans ok when you're short? Because they don't make them less- skinny. One half inch of leeway is the difference between mom jeans and fashion. Seriously, what is happening here.
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