I miss singing.

maybe that's it. ; )

Passionate about your job/volunteering

Every time I sit and stew on my couch and watch hours of documentaries, it makes me think about things I am passionate about, things I think are important to me. and I think that is where I would find an ideal job, not in things I necessarily like to do but in things I am passionate about. If I am not supposed to let myself be held back by my location, job status, relationship status, etc.

I find it really difficult not to be held back by these things, because moving on to new stages of life often means letting older trappings go. I don't want to let anything go, but I want to go and find something I care about and solve a problem in a smart and innovative way. I don't want to be a drone, but at the same time I need to garner some form of security for a future family. So my paradox is: To have security, you must be a drone. To follow your dreams you must be a tight rope walker with no security.

One interest:
I think I would like to work with BSL and BDL legislation, however with no law degree and no desire to become a lawyer (I honestly don't know if I am up to the work involved) I am not sure what can be accomplished other than  holding a sign (which I feel accomplishes 3% the results people want). Petitioning local legislative bodies to change laws locally will eventually make a change, because small steps start big steps. I am not a fan of dogs in general. I find Pit bull type dogs just as annoying as poodles and retrievers and labs and chihuahua dogs little yappy ankle biters. I am passionate about this issue not because of the dogs involved, but because I know that dogs touch people's hearts and bring joy to their lives; they can teach responsibility and strengthen relationships, provide support for the sick and work many jobs that humans cannot accomplish yet with technology (search and rescue being a good example). I think that blocking BSL and BDL legislation and focusing more on responsible ownership laws for all dogs, as well as stopping backyard breeders and making spay neuter mandatory would go a long way to making a difference in the number of dog bites/attacks we see as well as cutting down the number of dogs who are bred unsound physically, emotionally or mentally and placed into society for human monetary gain.

a second much more vague Interest:
I really like plants. I have a LOT LESS PLANTS than I once did because we got a cat and she has been systematically assassinating them one by one, however I have a really big interest in the way that the US and Canada grow their food- I know that we have genetically engineered crops pest resistant etc- but my real interest is in the pesticides used and finding a healthier alternative for the environment, now that companies have been manufacturing these pest and weed resistant "-icides" for our crops, our yields are up, however mother nature is fighting back with many varieties of weeds becoming resistant to our chemical advances, making commercial farming much harder as weeds that once were confined to the edges of fields are bolting into the corn as it were (one particularly 'smart' and fast adapting weed is rapeseed) There is an economical impact of smaller farmers who's crops cannot stand up against large companies and who are driven out of business as they cannot afford the new and best chemicals to fight these superweeds...etc. The food industry in America is like a labrynth of new and terrifying and exotic and scary things around every corner and no David Bowie in sight, and there are so many places for improvement. Since this is literally how we keep our country alive I wish it were more focused on feeding people properly instead of cheaply, and making a more positive impact on our environmnent.

Third and most possible interest:

Photographing animals in pounds and shelters to make more positive profiles and get more animals adopted than purchased from breeders. Make it a community witnessed effort. Increase awareness of the evils of backyard breeders.

Reasoning: Animals will ALWAYS be purchased from breeders because people are snotty (yup went there). Professional Dog and Cat Breeders usually represent the top of the pyramid for providing animals that are healthy, cared for, and sturdy emotionally/mentally/physically, and for that reason I think society will always have a place for them. However, as long as Asshole Backyard Breeders are making puppies for some easy money, and people are not spaying and neutering, our shelters and pounds will be overflowing with adoptable animals who will otherwise be put to death, because the supply far outweighs the demand.

I advocate for Spay and Neuter and proper pet ownership education. I know a lot of shelter animals are returned to shelters for behavioral issues. I think it is really important to match an animal's energy level and intelligence with the family life and get an honest picture of how this animal will fit in before a person takes it home and is wildly surprised by the fact that the lazy dog they wanted can figure out how to open the front door and run the neighborhood, or that their cat climbs everything in sight when they wanted a couch potato (which was my pet mistake).  Shelter staff should be educated on the general temperament of their animals, and should do their best to prevent mismatches, as well as educating prospective adopters to have an open mind and to be honest- many pet behavioral issues come from people not putting in the time and effort, or not having been honest with themselves before adopting about their lifestyle or time restrictions. I think morally I would rather have a dog be euthanized and killed than have it be adopted and miserable or mistreated in a bad home.

I think more government support should be given to shelters and city pounds especially to fund programming, and I think I could find room in any city's budget to trim the fat and I am no whiz. All it takes is an honest look at the books. I think free obedience classes for dogs are really important to community wellness and child safety as well, and that as responsible ownership should be taught young in school. As responsible ownership increases in any community, there will be a raised awareness of lawbreakers regarding animal welfare as well as increased tolerance for all breeds of dogs, fighting BSL and BDL on the ground floor which ties into my other interest.

COINCIDENTALLY

I have a huge interest in genetics, my hubby has a huge interest in golden retrievers, and coincidentally this has manifested itself into my interest in dog breeding. I don't want to be a breeder and I have this seething contempt for them because I secretly feel like they are ruining dogs, sort of how bread went from being made from scratch to being wonderbread. However, my rampant interest in all things genetics and cut and paste genealogy has made dog breeders and indispensable resource to track coat colors through lineages and the rise and fall of genetic instabilities as well as dominant and recessive genes etc. It is just so interesting. I really like that Professional Breeders take what they do seriously, often do not do it for monetary gain, their dogs go to the vet and are well bred, well cared for, and that families are screened and sometimes home visited before they are allowed to take home a puppy. I think if we could get population down and model shelter adoptions more along this line, there would be less shelter returns. But a lot of it is stopping the girl around the block from breeding her blue pit because he's beautiful and she needs the money.  She's an idiot and she needs to be stopped or get licensed and all that comes with that.  I want that lay's face on a poster with the words "The Problem" under it.

Maybe something with animals.


 

Miss-Representation- very fantastic.

I have been gearing up to watch this documentary for a long time! Years even, and I definitely recommend you and your husband sit down and watch it, as well as show it to your kids (there are some curses and breasts in the material they supply for debate so watch it yourself FIRST! and make sure you approve!) I have a very vivid memory of sitting on my boyfriends couch watching a television show, and I was being "rude" and speaking out about the show in a really flippant and annoyed way- I think my exact words were, "all those women are skinny bitches." My boyfriend, reacting actually to his sisters visual discomfort I think, basically told me I was bring rude and to shut up- it was a show she absolutely loved and I'm sure it's very good. What I said was crass and not effective. What I meant was, seriously, why can't women look like real women. Men get to look like real men. Why can't someone who looks like me or your sister be the starring role in a television show. Why don't they exist. Why does everyone's goal on this show right now revolve around romance.

My reaction to this documentary is fairly positive, because it brings up a lot of things I have noticed and had issue with but not been able to express.

My mom says: Be proud of your body! It is the only one you get and it is wonderful!
BUT Media shows: Unless is it too heavy on the bottom, "apple shaped" your butt is too flat, your legs are too chicken-y, your boobs to big (or small or the wrong texture), If your hair is too curly, if your hair is too straight- Heaven forbid you have any kind of flub in the middle. You know what, basically if you aren't thirteen year old carbon copy of the photoshopped version of Meghan Fox HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE IN PUBLIC. You should feel ugly.

My mom says: Women are strong. We are often stronger than men in the clutch. We push babies out of our bodies. STRONG.
Media shows: We will cancel those shows portraying strong women after one season because no one likes to see a woman in power unless she is being manipulated and broken down by the men around her. We will make fun of any woman who seeks a position of power- you don't have the right to be seen as a candidate, only as a sex object who is emotionally unstable 'hot or not' and will be constantly judged by *gasp* other women about how your hair looks. You do not have the right to be judged for your opinions only without the filter of your beauty.

Mom and your teachers say: No one asks to be raped. No matter what.
Media shows: Unless you were dressed with a skirt above your knees, then you were asking for it. Or were at a bar. or had any cleavage at all. If you aren't a troll you are asking for it. Even if you are a troll.  not only that! If you do file a report (but you should probably just tell your friends then bury it as an unfortunate event) people will always believe you and it will 'go away' by the time the next episode airs. You may have a three episode arc where you deal with these feelings but life moves on really quickly and you'll go back to being your same old self. (This really bothers me because if a boy is bullied or loses a fight in 8th grade it shapes the man he grows up to be, and we are beginning to understand that. But if a girl is molested or raped, impossibly, I feel she is still expected to pop up bright as a daisy in three days like nothing happened. If she seeks help she is teased by peers and ridiculed by eye rolling teachers who want her to "get over it already". I've actually seen this happen, and as a teenager was outraged but silent.

Mom says: You have the right to play sports! Just like the men. Title IX! Go kick ass honey.
Media shows: In teeny tiny shorty shorts that show off your booty, and tight tank tops that show off your tits! You do not have the right to be sweaty and disheveled and completely VICTORIOUS like men do though. because instead of strong, we say you look gross and make fun of you.
Likewise, You can have a high power job! But only if you are pretty. The pretty girls on our shows you would kill to be have confident exteriors but show nail biting insecurities about their intelligence. THis makes them approachable and shows girls that she should never be sure of herself, even if she fits the perfect archetype of "the hottie".

If 'Society' teaches us that men are the smarter, stronger, better sex. If men are smarter, stronger, more emotionally balanced and in general better, shouldn't such a being be perfectly able to raise up successful sons and daughters to add to society? And if being a 'mother' is too tough and intricate for a man, why can a woman do it? A man can negotiate the delicate nuances of a corporate merger, but cannot tell his daughter that he loves her and that she is beautiful without all the makeup- the girls on the TV are not real people, and she should not be having sex at age 13, even if iCarly has a boyfriend. Society says only a man is really qualified to run America, but it is a waste for a man to make sure his family eats healthy, locally sourced ingredients in the dinners he cooks, and finds it wasteful to spend an hour making sure his sons homework is done, teaching him to take pride in cooking or learning how to do laundry? Is it wrong for a man to know how to not shrink your damn sweaters? WHY?

I think being a feminist should not mean you fight for women to replace men in the job market- I think being a feminist is being fair and realizing not every man who is taught he needs to be in a suit , needs to be the breadwinner, needs the corporate job- this does not mean he WANTS to be in a suit, at a desk, driving a truck, working the power lines. Many women who are trapped at home covered in toddler vomit have loftier dreams than working part time at Michaels. They should be able to pursue what they want without being judged as Trolls, Harpies, MILFs. If a woman is the best candidate why not hire a woman over a man. Likewise, if a woman wants to stay home and raise her kids, why is that wrong and looked down on?

Other stuff.
Blather blather. BLah blah. It's not done it's too late to keep spouting sentences with relatively correct punctuation.

Burberry Winter Coats

I can't help being so damn miserable every time I see some little vacant looking teenager walking down the street in a Burberry coat. I don't really give a damn about the rest of it, I can wear a pair of 10.00 shoes from payless or KMart, and I can get my clothes on sale at the mall and be fine. I sell design-your own bags and I hate the high fashion, what the hell does a coach bag really carry that a canvas tote can't.

Just once in a while a new coat, a really NICE new coat, that fits well and flatters curves and makes you feel like a beautiful woman; it makes you feel alive and warm in the cold and you can put it on winter after winter and think WOW this coat really makes my figure insane and my cheekbones stand out and the color makes my eyes pop and every bad hair day pales in comparison to my ass in THIS COAT. I think this is also the reason I own a dozen dresses, I'm looking for that feeling. Sometimes I get it but not as consistently as when I put on a coat.

When my brother and my boyfriend started telling me I dress like a 90 year old woman this year I got a little offended because usually look in the mirror and I see a classy woman. I never wanted any part of my wardrobe to imply that I think leggings can be worn as pants because LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. ESPECIALLY ON MEN.  I wear cardigans and trouser-leg-jeans and I have delicate jewelry and nice button ups and a classic peacoat. I have a tiny waist, and belts to show it off. I have dresses that vary from the 50's style to the sundress style of my youth, frilly and plain and I have boatneck tops that show off my collar bones. I have clothes that I enjoyed genuinely until the day my boyfriend apparently decided I looked like a 40 year old and what he really thought I should look like was a teenager?

I caved and now I own skinny jeans. The calves that have sunk a thousand pairs of well intentioned boots now get crammed semi-successfully into skinny jeans. Like REALLY TIGHT jeans. I can see dimples from space in this shit. Yes my butt looks great, but still having to hike them up every ten seconds means 50% of the time I have diaper crotch because HELLO curves happen. Not to be harsh here but when your boyfriend's first reaction to you in a pair of very attractive but super uncomfortable pants is " yeah, you look hot. Now you look your age." DUDE I am 25 and built for comfort, not for speed. I look fat in these pants. but whatever.

 Here's the thing, once you say it, it's out. I try not to dwell on the things I say that hurt people's feelings because I can't really suck them back from recent memory and make them not happen. I feel bad the boyfriend has apologized a dozen times about saying I dress like a fogey, but it doesn't mean he no longer thinks that way-he's just sorry he let it out.  Sure I give in and look like a makeup smeared flannel shirt wearing beanie flaunting leggings as pants (in my own house only) hoodrat occasionally(apparently this is his dream girl?). When I paint. Or sleep. Outside I want to look nice and put together, since when did that become a bad thing? When did that become not hot, not sexy. What not to wear, did you lie to me all these years? are skinny jeans ok when you're short? Because they don't make them less- skinny. One half inch of leeway is the difference between mom jeans and fashion. Seriously, what is happening here.