June 2018: a stalemate

June of 2018: I'm now 29.

Researching nursing schools. Well, telling people I am researching nursing schools while really avoiding it because I'm a lifelong procrastinator.

I work in accounts payable. It's not a dream job but I like my coworkers.
Same apartment, same boyfriend, same cats. We now feed them better and they have a cat fountain we don't clean enough. I fluctuate between being a great and the worst cat guardian.

The primary arguments in our house are about: family, money, sex, chores, and how annoying our neighbors are. We keep talking about buying a house and getting away from the city noise- but we can walk to so much food to waste our money on. Someday maybe there'll be a dog and kids in the house we'll inevitably buy eventually.

I've been sewing a lot of garments in the last three years, and hubs got me a sewing machine. I'm planning a trip to New Orleans which I am hoping will be...not stressful. All older cousins are married now, so that's...no pressure.

I'm seeing all the mental health professionals and I'm medicated to help treat my anxiety and depression, a.k.a. the source of many a ranty deep dark musing. They make the blog posts a little intriguing, but everyday life a challenge so, trying out something new. Three mental health people have told me to focus on "mindfulness" which I am feeling a strong repulsion to. Mindfulness makes me queasy, which I guess...recognizing that...is mindful. I dunno, it's so circular and dumb and confusing. AND foolproof because apparently mindful people know the secret to happiness *glares into space*.

Working on pursuing bigger things and 'being my own happiness' and other lame things people put on tee shirts; Making some tee shirts as well with fabric paint. My house is a permanent hoarding disaster, half my plants from the last post in 2015 are dead, though the orchids are still alive remarkably.